When I first came across this question I had a hard time coming up with a time I was ever asked about my singleness. I knew I had to have been asked the question. I mean what single woman has never been asked that question? I guess I must have blocked those uncomfortable memories from my mind. Can you imagine standing around a group of people you know or don’t know and be asked the dreaded “why are you still single?”. Awkward. Not to mention embarrassing.
I can recollect one experience where an older gentlemen felt the need to ask me the question about four times. When I first approached him, looking for a classroom I was visiting he appeared enamored with me. Telling me “what a beautiful lady your are” and sharing every other compliment he could think of. I would be remiss to say I wasn’t quite tickled with the interaction. At first. He asked if I was married. I said no. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. Then came this quizzical look on his face. And the question came out. “Why are you single?”.
At the moment I just smiled and laughed it off but he asked again! And at that point I realized I didn’t have a good answer to satisfy his curiosity. I replied to him ” I don’t know. I just am”. He looked at me and smiled. And then finally gave me the room number I was looking for. I walked away from him not feeling anything. I was a little amused at the interaction but it didn’t really mean anything to me. As I think about it now, I realize that’s kind of how I feel about my singleness. It doesn’t mean anything to me. I just am. I am who I am whether I’m single or attached. I don’t have to obsess over it or feel any particular way about it. I can live my life everyday not concerned about my status. For me that works just fine.